Sunday, September 25, 2005

NANOHYPE AWARD - September 2005 - and a Review of PATH OF DESTRUCTION

Winner of the NANOHYPE AWARD for September is PATH OF DESTRUCTION.

SCI FI Channel 9/24/2005 9:00 P.M. ET/PT

So this was an evil nano movie!!!! You've got to be kidding and how do I get those two hours back.

Best line in the movie –

“A pine tree up the ass really changes your perspective on life.”

Best references to evil nanobots –

Pac-man on steroids” and “Robo-germ.”

Best euphemism –

President of the USA called the bots a “biochemical matter” which was not far off the mark.

If this is the type of film advocates of nanotechnology are concerned about, then we have big problems with the advocates. As long as Hollywood puts out films like this, we can expect the public to ridicule rather than worry about how nanotechnology might be portrayed.

A fluff reporter Katherine searching for "a story that mattered" and a glorified meteorologist named Nathan save the West Coast from a cloud of dissembling nanobots by convincing Colonel Thomas Miller to fly a paper and plastic airplane called ICARUS (which just happens to be at a convenient air base) into the cloud of nanobots to detonate an EMP weapon. The result is bye-bye bots and a black snowfall over the greater LA area.

The project originally funded by the military was called SERENA (self-replicating nanotechnology agents). After the funding by the military was pulled, STARKCORP under the direction of its CEO contracts with the People’s Republic of China to test dissembling nanobots. They break out of containment (which, oddly enough, was at an oil platform) which was somehow related to their need for energy (though unexplained).

The bots SFX were unashamedly taken from Matrix Revolutions (those many armed machines in the finale) and the ending was a copy of Independence Day including a patriotic strut to the airplane rather than from the crash. In a salute to the Governator, Miller (the colonel) on exploding the EMP weapon has the line “disassemble this!” There were at least three references to oral sex and the reporter ingenuously found ways to expose her midriff throughout most of the entire movie. Except for the water tank special effect that produced the cloud, the SFX were terribles, examples: the bullet exploding off the walls in the offices of STARKCORP looked like snapcaps and the blood was excessive and the wrong color. Oh yeah, the dialogue was idiotic especially the pick-up lines as the movie ended and the objectifying remarks about women.

I don’t know what the film’s market share was, however Prey might be something to worry about on that account, but Path of Destruction was incredibly stupid and the performances were laughable. David Keith was better growling his way through X-Men and Danica McKellar didn’t seem to learn much during her Wonder Years though she has a nice set of abdominals.

OK, I did like two things. First, Seattle gets creamed, esp. the part of the city involved in conspicuous consumption and second, I enjoyed the ad from American Chemistry.com during the telecast.

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